Berlin Photos

We arrived in Berlin on thursday evening staying through to Tuesday morning. Here are some photos of the apartment we rented and wonderful friends!

Main living area

Bedrooom

Kitchen

Bathroom

This is now the non-marathon photo

Havin' our first beer in a little pub down the street from the apartment

On Friday night, we had dinner at the home of Elke's daughter and son-in-law, Karin and Barnard and their two boys Leonard and Friedrich.

Queen Elke and our Royal Translator, Mikel

Princess Karin

Becky with Friedrich (left) and Leonard, Karin and Barnards' boys

On Saturday we visited the Village of Rosenwinkel where I, of course, am King!

Becky at the train depot in Rosenwinkel on Saturday morning

My friend, Bruce, who lives in Flrorida, and his friend, Janice, who lives in New York were in Berlin on Monday to start an Eastern European trip on Tuesday so we did some sightseeing together

Oktoberfest Photos

On to Munich!

Our new "best friends" Silvia & Sebastian

Silvia and I

Our other new best friends. They ordered different food than us so by my way of thinking; since we were all at the same big table "family" style, I figured they should share....and they did!

Nice guys.

Friday Night Friends & Family

On to Frankfurt for Manuel's wedding!

As mentioned, Becky and I arrived at Manuel and Jacquelines' mid-afternoon on Friday. From there, we checked into our hotel, napped and freshened-up to then return for a friends and family gathering.

Friday night's festivities and Saturday's ceremony and luncheon were attended by 25 or so of us with Saturday evening's reception increasing to 65 or so.

Now, while the ceremony and luncheon were "normal", the reception had a Bavarian theme even though neither Manuel or Jacqueline are Bavarian; however, he proposed to her in Bavaria so their freinds used Manuel and Jacquelines' lack of Bavarian insight as a source of amusement creating a Bavarain themed game quizzing them on all things Bavarian. Funny! A great, funny group of people. They also created the artwork you'll see encouraging (more like pressuring) them to start a family.

Oh, and the food. The food was phenomenal. What you don't see in the photos are meatballs, salads, other cheeses, etc...etc...etc...

The bride preparing food for friday night's festivities!

Methinks I smell a party comin' awn!

You don't have to call me twice!

Yum yum...yellow peppers with cheese & herbs!

It's baby time!

Testing the bride & grooms' Bavarian knowledge

The Wedding Ceremony and Luncheon

Manuel and Jacqueline were married by a local Justice of the Peace with 25 or so friends and family members in attendance. It was a beautiful ceremony translated for me by Alexandria, a friend and co-worker of Manuel's. Both she and her husband, Cristos, not to mention all of Manuel's friends and family, were so welcoming, genuine, kind and helpful to both Becky and I and took great care of us.

While Alexandria could not translate every, single word, she was definitely able to pass along the energy and theme of how Manuel and Jacqueline were headed on a new journey of togetherness and how it would be up to them to work together and share in one another's lives working as a team. It was very moving. I couldn't look over at Manuel's mother as she was crying and then I'd start to cry....OY!

Afterward, just like in the U.S., there was rice throwing and bubble blowing along with a local, log-cutting tradition.

At the luncheon, held at a little, Italian restaurant following the ceremony, I introduced Germans to one of our rituals; that being every time we had clinked a glass with a knife or fork, the bride & groom had to kiss and, of course, I had to teach them the best time to do this was when they had a mouth full of food!

The still single bride & groom!

A civil ceremony officiated by the local magistrate.

Notice there are two groomsmen but no bridesmaids. That's because Manuel and his friends, Christain and Joerg, while standing at urinals together during a night of partying made a pact that they would only have groomsmen when they got married.

Log-cutting ritual signifying their ability to work together as a team

One of Manuels, good friends, Helger, and his girlfriend, Kristin, getting all lovey dovey during lunch

Bubble wars with Kristin and Helger during lunch.

If you look close, you can see a couple floating in the air.

Alexandria, my translator, is of German and Greek heritage; she speaks German, Greek and English

Wedding Reception Photos!

On Monday, while waiting at Frankfurt airport, I called Manuel to say goodbye. To understand why I would travel so far for his wedding is very easy. During the conversation, he apologized for not having had enough time to spend with me. I said, "but, Manuel, it was your wedding". He is a very, dear soul.

Prior to the wedding ceremony, I was talking to his aunt and uncle, who live in Milwaukee; I told them about how Manuel and I met here in the U.S. while he was working for Enterprise Rent A Car. That was over six years ago. The odds of a then 42-year-old gay guy, making friends with a 25-year-old straight guy from Germany, would seem pretty slim; however, we have managed to be part of one another's lives and share great experiences together in not only Long Beach but in Paris and multiple cities in Germany as well.

Again, during the course of our conversation, he mentioned how his friend Christian's girlfriend had been the official wedding photographer and how they had already heard from her and in the over 200 photos taken, people were always smiling. Although I could not see his face, I could sense his joy.

I am grateful for his friendship and honored and proud to have him in my life.

The bride & groom arrive at the reception held in the basement of a castle.

The reception hall. Notice the ceiling.

Close friends making a presentation (more like fun of) the bride & groom. It was all in
German sooooo....

Alexandria and her husband, Cristos

Hangin' out with the bride havin', surprise, a beer!

This is Stefan who said, "Larry, you're not like other Americans"
(Yeah, well...)

Straight, German men love me!

Helllllloooooo Autobahn!

We left Munich on Friday morning having obtained a Ford Focus wagon from Sixt rental car so we could make our way to the Frankfurt area for Manuel's wedding. Number one, even in the rain and slight fog, we had no trouble getting ourselves out of the city to the Autobahn and boy, do I love that Autobahn!

Upon arrival at Manuel's I asked him to calculate 180 Kilometers in to MPH; he said this would be approximately 110-12o MPH! Woo woo then that Focus hauled ass!

When he saw the car, he informed me it was not a German registered auto, but a Denmark registered vehicle so here I am an American, driving a Dutch auto in Germany....very multi-cultural I'd say.

With only a few bumps and grinds, we found our way to Manuel's home in Worfelden, Germany (a rural suburb, so to speak, of Frankfurt) around 3:30 Friday afternoon where Jacqueline, his bride to be, gave us directions to our hotel. After a short nap, we headed back to their apartment for a friends and family gathering including some of the most incredibly presented as well as tasting food! Jacqueline and her friend, Peggy, made everything, and you would have thought the food had been catered. Beautiful...just beautiful and oh, of course, there was beer!

All in all, there were about 25 people in attendance with each one just as nice; if not nicer, than the last.

While I don't know the name of the village, we stayed at a great little hotel about 15 minutes from Manuel's home. On Saturday morning around 7:30, I did go for a short run past bakeries, butcher shops and a farmer's market all getting ready to greet their customers. Charming....very charming.

Well, time to move on. Not sure when I'll be able to post next, but it'll be all about the wedding festivities and fun!

Munich starts with M and so does Martini!

Oktoberfest may be all about beer, but I was also able to snag a coupla martinis at a bar that had, count it, one martini glass! The bartender needed a few instructions but for the most part, he was able to pull it off on his own. I did, however, 0ffer the most instruction when it came to keeping it dry!

And while the dollar is at an all-time low against the Euro, I was able to barter one UCLA baseball cap for two belonging to the bartender so I consider that not to be all that bad of a deal!

Beer. I did drink quite a bit of beer while in Munich, and we did learn Augustiner is the beer of choice of those with whom we spent our time at Oktoberfest.

Ultimately, Munich is a very easy city to figure out and get around by way of either the UBahn or SBahn. UBahn would be underground trains and SBahn surface? street? Anyway, not a problem.

In comparison to Berlin, Munich is a lighter city. Hard to describe but Berlin just has a darker feel to it; not dark as in sinister or depressing really, I don't know, maybe more intense...less happy so to speak.

Munich is definitely very bicycle friendly. Running along side every cobblestone style sidewalk is a paved area used as a bike lane and if there is not room on the sidwalk, the there always seems to be one along the traffic lances. I was able to get a couple of runs in along the Isar River due to the wide, tree-lined, black-top path that goes for miles. One afternoon I got in a 5 mile run; the other was a 3 miler.

In addition to the beer, there's little or no chance of getting away from carbo loading while in Germany. Bread, bread and more bread everywhere you go but lucky for me, I'm not opposed to bread in any form.

"Berlin real Marathon or Bust".....bust

Okay, here's the scoop right off the bat and straight from the horse's mouth; I, in the end, was unable to run the "real Berlin Marathon". There you have it...I ADMIT IT!

But first, "real" is not a lack of capping the "r" typo; nor, is it something unpure in nature, because "real", ultimately, is the brand name and logo of what I believe to be some sort of German food distributor and, in the end, marathon sponsor.

But, I degress. Prior to leaving the U.S., I was not feeling well. To the point, I purchased international health insurance in the event I required emergency surgery.

Yes, I did have three seats to sleep across on the Air India flight (see previous post); however, I did so in great pain believing I may need to have my appendix or sections of my intestine removed upon arrival in Germany.

After sleeping near 8 hours during the intercontinental flight, and then taking it easy upon arrival in Berlin; not getting-up and going until 1 in the afternoon on Friday, I, between 3:30 Saturday afternoon and 3:30 Sunday afternoon (marathon started at 9 on Sunday) slept 17 out of 24 hours. The bitch of it all is that come 4:30 Sunday afternoon I so could have kicked marathon ass! And then come Monday morning, gay or not, I so coulduh kicked Hitler's ************************************* ass!

Walking around Berlin on Monday, I did feel a bit melancholy when viewing medals around the necks of others; however, knowing my appendix and any of a multitude of other body parts were still in tact, said to myself, "What the fuck; I'm still in Berlin, surrounded by friends, on the way to Oktoberfest in Munich as well as a Manuel's wedding near Frankfurt so who gives a rat, batard's ass where I was 24 hours ago!

And then now, Tuesday evening, here I am in Munich having spent the afternoon at Oktoberfest learning from my new best friends, Sebastean and Silvia, where to go and what to do tomorrow instead of going to Oktoberfest, because Wednesday is the German re-unification holiday (the uiltimate East meets West event!) believe in my heart just as much as any other day, all is well and all will be well because the thing about it is deep in the dark recesses of anxiety and fear, I truly believe ALL WILL BE WELL!

Enjoy enjoy, and I hope that in some weird, freaky, ridiculous kinda way, I, somehow am able to inspire you to reach beyond what you now know to be true to create for yourself an opportunity to arrive at some new level of awareness...........or not.........whatever.........you'll get there.........just breathe.

"Berlin Schmerlin"

Sunday evening greetings from Berlin!

Becky and I arrived in Berlin late thursday evening after a not soooo bad flight on Air India. We had a few concerns going in to that little adventure but, all in all, it wasn't bad if you consider I had three seats to myself to lay across offsetting this aircrafts immediate need of refurbishing combined with the fact that it was not just a passenger 747 but half cargo as well; meaning, what would normally be a section of the passenger cabin (rows 40 & beyond) on any other 747, on this particular aircraft, were cargo.

We did have an hour delay leaving LAX due to an impromptu FAA inspection. The pilot assured us this sort of thing always happened I, however, have done a whole lotta flyin' and this was news to me! Will have to check with my flight attendant friend, Randy, to verify. Ultimately, I'm gonna go with my original thought with that being just mayyyyyyybeeeee Air India has had some...er...trouble in the past, and the FAA is keeping an eye on them.

FAA or no FAA we arrived in Frankfurt during a major rain storm; made our way across the several terminals to Air Berlin where we then waited on hour on the tarmac, due to weather, before taking off to Berlin.

Before I go on, we rented an apartment in Berlin for the 5 nights we're here by way of the Internet. The owner was to have mailed be a key; however, he was held up on a trip to Paris so the plan was to have the housekeeper, Dennis, meet us at the apartment when we arrived in Berlin.

I, having a Nokia international ready cell phone, was told i could swap my US sims card for a European pay as you go one and that these cards could be purchased pretty much anywhere. My hope was that I could purchase one at the Frankfurt airport so I could call Dennis with info as to our arrival; ultimatlely, however, there was no need as Becky's friend, Audrey, loaned her a German cell phone. It was a total Woo Woo! moment when we were able to figure out how to use to call Dennis to let him know we were just an hour or so away in Frankfurt with him agreeing to meet us at the Zoo UBahn station and then walk with us to the apartment. It, however, was not a woo woo moment when we were sitting on the tarmac having learned of the one hour delay unable to call Dennis, because the cell phone's battery was now dead!

I, being the shy type, immediately hit up the man sitting next to Becky for the use of his cell phone. In addition to the use of his phone, he spoke to Dennis in German explaining our situation as well as informing us Dennis would leave the key to the apartment under the second rock to the left of the front door.

We fly to Berlin, catch a bus, ya da ya da ya da, walk three blocks in the rain to the door of the apartment but no rock, well, no rock on the porch; the second rock was actually part of the centuries old cobblestone sidewalk we had to dig-up, in the rain, to find the key.

After alllllll that, we open the door to the apartment, and it's wonderfully charming...very European...very IKEA with all the amenities of home including a large balcony overlooking the street just blocks off the Kurfurstendamm about a ten minute walk to the main train station as well as supermarket.

On Friday, we slept-in and then did a quick walking tour of the area, bought some groceries and popped into the local bar for a beer to hang out with the locals as well as the dog that hangs out in this particular pub.

In the evening, we went to the home of my friends Karin & Barnard; their two sons Leo and Friedriche, and their pet mouse Becky named Schnitzel.

Almost outta time...gotta go..until next time.....

"Germany or Bust"

Helllllooooooo Germany! I'm outta here on Wednesday making my way to Berlin's Marathon on Sunday. My friend, Becky, and I arrive in Berlin Thursday evening with race packet pickup Friday's main goal and then on Saturday, we'll make our way to the Village of Rosenwinkel, YES, the Village of Rosenwinkel where I, of course, am king!

Monday will be all about post-marathon relaxation and hangover nursing and then on Tuesday we head to Munich to load up on some Oktoberfest carbs finishing up near Frankfurt on the weekend attending the wedding of a friend including a pig roast and beer, beer and more beer!

This will be my third trip to Germany with the first having taken place nine days after September 11th. At that time, not only was it my first trip to Germany, it was my first trip ever to Europe having traveled to Munich with a friend and then heading off on my own to Berlin where I spent three very lonely days not having run across one other American including renting a car and finding my way to the Village of Rosenwinkel approximately 70 miles outside of Berlin in the former East Germany with the inability to speak or read German.

In many ways, unbeknownst to me at that time, because I had never done one, that trip was a lot like running a marathon; in the end, we're all alone out there with nothing to rely on but our own inner strength, fortitude, determination and training/life experience and it's not that those of us who choose to travel or run marathons are fearless, it's that we choose to face the fear digging deep bringing our entire self into the journey absorbing the process.

For me, the Berlin Marathon will have nothing to do with my time; it will have everything to do with the evolution of the past 6 years and how in many ways, I've grown as an individual and human being who is considerably more empowered with a stronger, more solid belief in his ability to not only achieve but to thrive.

Ultimately, for me anyway, the true meaning of life is all about finding peace during the struggle whatever the struggle may be.

In the meantime, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

"Monday Morning Pick Me Up September 24, 2007"

"To get anywhere in life, we need to be willing to make an ass of ourselves".

Larry Rosenwinkel

"A Midweek Question"

Well, I missed posting a "Monday Morning Pick Me Up" so here's a Wednesday question.

Do you live a reactive or proactive lifestyle?

"Monday Morning Pick Me Up August 20, 2007"

The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.

Albert Einstein

"Monday Morning Pick Me Up August 13, 2007"

It is a universal part of the human condition that we must heal wounds from our past. The illusion of perfect parents must eventually give way to the realities of who our parents are as concrete individuals. Their limitations invariably become our own, in one way or another, and their struggles with identity and self-esteem become the stumbling blocks that we find in our own lives. This is the human condition.

Timmen Cermak

"Monday Morning Pick Me Up August 6, 2007"

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.

Mark Twain

"Monday Morning Pick Me Up July 31, 2007"

"You can't please everyone so you've got to please yourself"

Rick Nelson from the song "Garden Party"

"Monday Morning Pick Me Up July 23, 2007"

"If we weren't too embarrassed to do something, then why be too embarrassed to talk about it?"

Anonymous

"Monday Morning Pick Me Up July 16, 2007"

"It's life practice; not life perfect"

Larry Rosenwinkel

"Monday Morning Pick Me Up July 9, 2007"

Life's too short to be someone else in different situations; hopefully, we can love ourselves enough to be whom we are at all times.

Larry Rosenwinkel

"Monday Morning Pick Me Up July 2, 2007"

"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on"
Maxwell Maltz

"Monday Morning Pick Me Up June 25, 2007"

Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you have decided to look beyond the imperfections. --Unknown

"Monday Morning Pick Me Up June 18, 2007"

“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.”

Golda Meir

"Monday Morning Pick Me Up June 11,2007"

Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.

Maya Angelou

"Monday Morning Pick Me Up June 4, 2007"

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.

Annie Dillard

"Monday Morning Pick Me Up May 28, 2007"

I just heard this again the other day in a movie. Depending on the situation, it's very funny; however, it's very self-affirming, and I have no idea whom to credit for having said it:

"I reject your reality to accept my own"

"Monday Morning Pick Me Up May 21, 2007"

"It's not where you are that creates stability; it's knowing you're loved".

Larry Rosenwinkel

"My Beach Runner Story"

Wow, the third year of Beach Runners Long Beach Marathon training started this past Saturday the 19th! I’ve been around since the beginning and find myself wondering where the time has gone. On January 1st, 2005, I started out as a walker, joined Beach Runners in May and then ran my first marathon in Chicago on October 8th. Two more marathons, two half-marathons, and a couple-uh 10Ks later, I’ve gone from being someone “around 45” to someone “pushing 50”, and I’ve gone from being someone who procrastinated deeply, willfully and soulfully when it came to anything that even remotely hinted to the slightest production of sweat to become someone now referred to as an athlete.

And not only am I now an athlete I am also one of the mentors in the Beach Runner’s training program doing my best to assist others in learning the ChiRunning technique and where I sometimes lead my own spirited, express, drive-thru version of “Marayoga” .

In the last two and a half years, having welcomed ChiRunning and “Marayoga” into my life, I’ve added and continue to work toward new levels of self-awareness, personal growth and understanding. Given genetics and upbringing, at this stage of my life, “depressed alcoholic” as opposed to “athlete and mentor” would more aptly, one would think, define whom I’d become; however, I spent what now appears to be near half a century working on my psychological, behavioral, and emotional self while leaving my physical self unscathed, well, except for that whole 42-inch waist, 230 lbs., overweight, unhealthy thing to now be heading off to Dublin, Ireland next month where I will participate in training to earn my certification as a ChiRunning instructor and then, after that, I’m tossing around the idea and doing research into becoming a certified yoga instructor as well.

Have I become a fanatic, no, just someone who has come to realize “Marayoga” and ChiRunning while offering much needed physical benefits, also connect with me psychologically, emotionally and spiritually.

ChiRunning is all about body sensing and running focused in a conscious state of awareness, to me, this is synonymous with “living in the moment” and often times while practicing “Marayoga”, I’m reminded “it’s yoga practice; not yoga perfect” speaking to me and supporting my belief there’s no such thing as achieving and living the perfect life; however, there is such a thing as doing the best I can.

As we head into this year’s training, I've suggested to my fellow runners they relax, have fun and enjoy each and every moment; speaking from experience, asked them as well as ask you to embrace the journey and in the grand scheme of things, think of it as “it’s life practice not life perfect”.

"Monday Morning Pick Me Up May 14, 2007

"No matter if we'd like to believe otherwise or try our best to deny it, the only side we're ever really on is our own".

Larry Rosenwinkel

"Monday Morning Pick Me Up May 7, 2007

"Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action".

Benjamin Disraeli

"Monday Morning Pick Me Up April, 30, 2007

"I am what you see I am; not what they say"

Tyler Hilton, singer & songwriter

"Monday Morning Pick Me Up April 23,, 2007"

"If a window of opportunity appears, don't pull down the shade."

Tom Peters

"Larry...he's so nice"

My cousin, Steve, and his wife, Sandy, and their son, Austin, came to visit recently after we re-connected following a death in the family. It was not only a pleasure but also a lot of fun having them here.

At one point, I had a conversation with Sandy who mentioned to me Steve's sister, Beth, had said to her, "Larry, he's so nice". This comment really touched my heart and did so because being nice is something I've spent a lot of time developing. There was a time in my life when I did things for people, because I needed to feel loved and valued and then I moved into the bitter and angry phase for allowing myself to be used and abused by some who took advantage of my "niceness". In either case, I was letting others verify and justify my existence and well-being. I was not in charge. I was, as they say, very co-dependent. And when I talk about co-dependency, I'm referring to the negative aspects of co-dependency. The type of co-dependency that had me blaming others and holding them responsible for a life I was not willing to be in charge of.

Ultimately, though, I learned I am the one in charge, and I am the one who does what he does when he wants to do it...or not. No one else is accountable for how and why I choose to do things and even more than that, no one other than I is responsible for how I choose to respond and interact with others and the world around me or how I choose to feel. No one can make me feel sad or happy or angry. Yes, someone can trigger those feelings in me, but I am the one who generates them.

Does this mean I don't ever get angry and frustrated? No. But what it does mean is that I take the time to look at those instances of when I was angry or frustrated or whatever and examine them to determine what lead me to have those feelings. In other words, why was I coming from a place of fear instead of love.

Having the ability to take a look at whether or not I was coming from a place of love or fear and knowing and believing living a life of love is the type of life I want and can choose to live, is what gives me the ability to be nice. And this ability to come from a place of love, I have come to learn, starts with love for self. Having the ability to love, nurture, respect, care for and have compassion for self, has given me the ability to have it for others. Regardless of who someone is or what they have done, each and every one of us is worthy of love. Each and every one of us has a history; a life filled with experiences that have shaped us and lead us to where to we are; it's having the ability to honor each and every life including our own that gives us the ability to be nice...that gives me the honor of someone saying, "Larry, he's so nice".

"April 16 Pick Me Up"

"As long as we believe something exists, it does"
L.Rosenwinkel

"Monday Morning Pick Me Up"

In addition to postings on topics or events that inspire me, some time on or around Monday morning, I'm going to post a "Monday Morning Pick Me Up" and what this is going to be is just a quote of the uplifting and inspirational variety to help get us all going on Monday mornings looking forward to a week full of possibilities and limitless new experiences and gifts.

"Answering Your Own Questions...With Help From a Life Coach"

Whew, it' s been awhile since my last post. Where does the time go? My whole purpose for this blog is to pass along good thoughts, notions and ideas on how to live a more action-oriented, mindful and genuinely, enjoyable, inspired life. With that in mind, I need to be inspired by something enough to comment on it and post it here.

Yesterday, I happened to pick up a copy of the LA Times. After looking, first, for the Target ad and not finding one, I moved to "Parade" magazine and my horoscope. On the same page as the horoscopes, was the "Ask Amy" advice column. The question of the week came from a young woman who said she will be graduating from high school in May; she has been accepted to her "out-of-state school of her dreams" as well as a local university where her boyfriend of three years would be attending. While she believes the relationship with her boyfriend will last, (he helped her as she grieved the loss of her mother a year earlier) if she chooses to go away to school she is "afraid of losing him".

Amy answered the young woman in very much a life coaching way in that she responded with, "You answered your own question in the last line of your letter ("I'm afraid of losing him"). You've already survived a tremendous loss. Now it's time to grab onto your dreams and see where they take you".

Life coaching is all about helping people achieve their goals and dreams; working with them to see they come to fruition. So many times, we get going on something but then it loses steam. Maybe it's because the idea or direction just wasn't a good one for us or maybe we just give up on it because no one else is supporting us in doing so, and it's not because they don't want to; it's because they have their own goals and agenda.

One would hope the young woman in this situation would choose to follow her dream and go away to school and, who knows, maybe her boyfriend would choose to follow her or maybe their relationship would grow and mature with distance and time or maybe it just might end; however, I believe, if we don't follow our dreams, we are doing a great injustice to our spirit and soul.

The "Sound of Music" was on TV numerous times over Easter weekend and while there are a number of memorable songs from this film, one of the major, I guess you'd say, "showstoppers", is "Climb Every Mountain" sung by the Reverend Mother; just before she starts to sing, the Reverend Mother says to Maria, "live the life you were born to live". Here are the lyrics:


"Climb every mountain, search high and low
Follow every by way, every path you know
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream
A dream that will need, all the love you can give
Everyday of your life, for as long as you live
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream"

If you're someone like me who lives a "not all who wander are lost" lifestyle, the words to this song remind you of who you are and what you're attempting to accomplish; they also offer support, hope, encouragement and, not to mention, personal empowerment.

As my life coaching career continues to grow and as I work on my lecture series and book, I think I'm gonna print these lyrics and hang them over my desk for added support and inspiration.

"Cher and Share Alike"

I know, I know, for someone who says he does not worship celebrities, here I am ready to talk about Cher. In my own defense, it's not really about Cher being Cher, but it's about sharing something I once heard her say during an interview on the Sally Jessy Raphael show.

Twice, during my lifetime, I've "gone into" therapy. The first time I was, I don't know, 21 or 22, and the second time was just before I went back to Chicago to take care of Mrs. Wakeman (see previous posts) so that means it would've been just before I turned 36. Both times, the sessions only lasted a few weeks because something told me if I was in therapy, then the fan must've really been hit so the best thing I could do was to hunker-down and figure-out, on my own, what the heck was going on.

Ultimately, shows like Oprah, Sally Jessy Raphael, Montel Williams etc... were my therapy. Honestly, Oprah was my favorite, and I felt I was right there along-side her learning and growing as an individual. I learned a lot from watching her show, because I took it on. And what I mean by that is I applied what her guests were saying to my own life. I didn't look at it as though it were about "those people", because I determined myself to be one of those very people. I knew there were parts of my life that did not bring me joy and even though I didn't have conscious awareness of my love and responsibility for self, I definitely displayed it in my desire to make changes, improve and feel better about who I am.

I learned about my favorite book by way of watching Oprah, and I believe it was, if not still is, her favorite book also. "The Seat of the Soul" by Gary Zukav. From time to time, I'll probably refer to it, because I've read it something like, I don't know, four times and each time I take on something new.

What this book did and continues to do for me is teach me about spirituality. I was raised with religion, but I wouldn't say I had spirituality. It was more about following rules than having a sense of connectedness to my own life and the lives of others. And then there was fear. Fear was what kept us in line. Fear was used to control. My experience with religion also came with a lot of judgment of self leading to judgement of others; I have come to believe this to be an avenue to keep me away from rather than close to others.

Okay, so how does this all relate to Cher and Sally Jessy Raphael? It relates, because I have learned a lot from watching television, especially, like I said, from talk shows.

On this particular show, Sally asked Cher if she had any regrets in life with respect to her career etc...; Cher said something like this, "I did what I did at the time because that's what I chose to do" and then she said something I remember as if it just happened yesterday; she said, "If we're not careful, we can become our own regret archivist". When I heard that, I got the chills and felt the message affect my entire body. Call it an awakening or an epiphany or whatever you want, but it made incredible sense to me. What I heard was to live my life to the fullest and do with it those things that make me the most happy and believe in who I am, and the choices I make and realize that when I chose to do something, I did it based upon what I knew at the time so to go back later and judge what I chose to do based on new information is futile. It also then made sense to me that going back and questioning every decision and trying to rework it, just brings anxiety and fear when making new decisions to the point of not making any decision at all but then the farce and craziness of that is there is no such thing as not making a decision because choosing to not make a decision related to some issue IS STILL MAKING A DECISION and that decision is to not make a decision. Get it? You may have to read it a couple of times, but it'll eventually make sense.

And as Cher said, "Don't become your own regret archivist".

"Yes, Mr. Cruise, there is such a thing as a post-marathon depression"

After something like, I don't know, 18 weeks of training, I can totally relate to Brooke Shields; there has got to be something known as post-marathon depression because, last week, I was a mess! I mean, all that time spent in preparation for a big event. Each and every Saturday morning with the Beach Runners (Woo woo!) and then the training during the week, that's a whole lotta energy focused on one thing so when it goes away, whoosh, there's a big let down.

I suppose it doesn't help much that I am still unemployed, and the search for employment has been a major time-consuming process with few, if any, results, but the good thing is at the end of this week, I will have completed all the coursework toward my master's. I will then have three weeks off prior to beginning work on my integrated project when class resumes on April 9th and then come mid-June, I'll be finished...YIPPIE KAYA KAYO!

One of the constants in my life over the past year, has been my running group. The Beach Runners are an incredible group of people, no, more like amazing. There is just something about the energy and spirit of each and every person in the group that when brought together collectively creates, for me, a very, safe place. Over the next two months, before we get together again in full-swing and start training for the Long Beach half and full marathons, it's gonna be tough on me not seeing each and every one of those wonderful faces and smiles bright and early on Saturday morning, but lucky for me, there's email, and an end-of-season party on the 24th of March.

After a big cry on Friday, I think it was, and a tough, emotional day on Saturday, I was able to spend time Sunday morning with fellow Beach Runner, Chris, who is revamping my resume for me and then I got to spend the rest of the afternoon and on into the early evening with friends Dion & Hiro, and their infectiously adorable two-and-a-half-year-old Emi along with Hiro's mother, Mari.

What was so great about spending time with Chris, Dion and Hiro is they support who I am and what I am attempting to do with my life and this, to me, is very powerful and emotional. When people take time out of their own lives to help us in some way, to me, this is what commitment to friendship is all about. This is what love is all about. Their kindness, friendships and love leave me speechless.

Winner! Winner!

Okay, maybe not a top-ten finisher, but a winner nonetheless. There's no other way to put it other than to say the LA Marathon was a tough one. On the norm, the weather in the Los Angeles area at this time of the year is relatively cool; however, on Sunday, it was quite warm. I don't know the exact temperature, but I think it was set to be somewhere around 80 degrees.

The race started out at Universal Studios pretty much downhill and the proceeded to wind its way through Hollywood to the Wilshire District to Koreatown to East LA eventually ending up in downtown Los Angeles. For the most part, once we got out of Hollywood, I didn't have a clue where we were so I just followed all the other runners. In the beginning, the pack was pretty solid so this, at times, made it hard to keep moving as it was difficult to maneuver through the crowd.

Round about mile 13 is where it started to fall apart for me. This caught me a little bit by surprise but having felt the effects of a cold or allergies the two days leading up to the marathon, I wasn't shocked; also, my feet were in extreme pain -- my toes mostly. They get to feel as though they are broken, and I'm not quite sure what to do next as I was wearing new shoes with padded inserts with plenty of room. The weird thing about it, though, is that at an undetermined point, they begin to hurt less. I don't know if it's because I've become accustomed to the pain or if they finally settle in to some sort of groove. Who knows? All I know is that it hurts!

During the course of the race, I ran on-and-off with fellow Beach Runners and any which way you put it, that's a good thing. To have the support and camaraderie of friends, is insanely powerful when you feel like giving up. I honor each and every one of my fellow Beach Runners who helped me through the entire training process to the completion of the marathon; without them, running would really not hold the same meaning.

For me, running half or full marathons is really all about getting to the finish. It has nothing to do with winning or how fast I get there but, rather, that I got there, Rolando, a fellow mentor in my running group says he considers himself a winner the moment he crosses the starting line because, by that point, he's done all the work and everything necessary to be in the position of even beginning to think he could accomplish such a goal.

Running a marathon is also all about the connections one creates with other human beings. As a Beach Runner's mentor, I have the opportunity to nurture, support and help others and this, in turn, helps me to nurture and support my own soul and spirit. It's all about the journey and getting there even if "there" is not where we thought we would be; it 's having the ability to not linger and create negativity in our lives when there is so much to be thankful and grateful for and, thereby, creating postive outcomes. Although it has taken me a long time to learn this and even to keep the attitude alive, if I had not been able to finish the LA Marathon, that would have been okay with me, because at least I had tried.

Had I never taken that first step toward running in December of 2004, I have no idea what path my life would have taken and that's okay, because I am a curious kind of guy so I much prefer looking forward rather than backward. Once I have arrived at a place, whatever it may be, then I think to myself, wow, how did that happen? And that's when it really starts to sink-in that life is a journey, and there is some divine plan out there for me, and I have the power to tap into that and make my life what I want it to be mostly by way of how I respond to situations and events in my life.

As this blog progresses, I will be sharing a number of my favorite quotes; some have more personal meaning than others with the one soon to follow falling in the "definite favorite" category, because it has a personal connection for me in that it touches upon and brings attention to the voice inside my head that tends to bring doubt, and it also strongly speaks to me in terms of self-actualization, self-love and self-esteem. To that end, enjoy!

Anna Quindlen wrote: "I read and walked for miles at night along the beach writing bad blank verse, and searching endlessly for someone wonderful who would step out of the darkness and change my life. It never crossed my mind that that person could be me".

I mean, really, what am I thinking!

I mean, really, what am I thinking? The closer it gets to Sunday's LA Marathon, the more the voice inside my head repeats this mantra, and I question my sanity, or lack thereof, with more frequency than usual.

As with many opportunities, goals and visions we have for our lives, we, I hope, question our ability to achieve them. For myself, I am very leery of people whom do not doubt themselves or their place in the world around them because out of doubt, hopefully, comes some form of education leading to a higher level of self-awareness; however, then there is the person who lives in a world of self-doubt never seeking the education or awareness possessing the potential to alter or change their situation; thus, stunting their emotional, psychological and spiritual growth.

The key for me, at least, is to put seeming roadblocks in my path and then maneuver around them while at the same time holding myself accountable and grateful for them. I just happened to have seen a short segment of Ellen DeGeneres talking about her first experience hosting the Oscars' something she had always dreamed of doing. She commented on how just before the show she was getting nervous and began to doubt herself but then she realized that this was something she willed to occur in her life so not wanting to be in a position of doubting her own decisions for having chosen to follow this particular path, she started to envision the days following the telecast creating in her mind reviews saying how cool and calm she was as host and how she moved through the show with ease; thereby creating an intention...an intention to be a cool and calm Oscar host.

While listening to her, I thought of how I, I guess you could say, I make sure I have a back-up plan when a major event in my life is approaching. And what I mean by that is I see to it I have something fun or interesting planned beyond the major event so the major event does not become a MAJOR EVENT in that it knocks me out of balance. The winter holiday season, for example, was once able to throw me totally outta whack, because I would put so much effort into it that come January 2, life came to a screeching halt and it was if I had slammed on the brakes just before reaching the cliff and there I was dangling over the edge until I could pull myself together. Now, having learned to plan something to look forward to in January, it really pulls back on that all or nothing huge deal I once held the holiday season up to be.

I have also come to realize that LA Marathon Sunday is just one Sunday out of a whole bunch of other Sundays so it is in my best interest to live in and enjoy the moment with friends both present and not who will be cheering me on and wishing me the best. I'm not a fast runner, but I do my best to hang in there, have a good time and finish the dang thing.

And, ultimately, I love the pre-marathon jitters, because if I didn't have them, it would mean I was not attached to the moment and as with anything in life, if we can move past that which has brought us anxiety and fear, we have the opportunity to set and example in our own lives as well as the lives of others and on top of that, it's incredibley empowering and fun!

"Courage is not the lack of fear but the ability to face it."---- Lt. John B. Putnam Jr. (1921-1944)

"I just missed Britney by a hair"

This past Friday, in my effort to return, in person, a rolling briefcase I'd purchased online for Joe, a friend and client, I made my way to Lazars Luggage on Ventura Boulevard in Sherman Oaks. Playing it safe, I left Long Beach at 10 a.m. figuring I'd capitalize on the whole traveling on the 405 between 10 and 2 is your best option philosophy. Although I'm still here to talk about it, what would normally be a 45 minute or so drive, turned into an hour and a half.

So, here I am an hour and half and really needing to pee later, stumbling and stuttering my way up Ventura Boulevard looking for Lazars Luggage. I don't know; I guess I went about a mile and a half when I spotted it, so as soon as I found a parking space, several doors down, I pulled over and parked my car, paid my visit to Lazar's Luggage and then headed on over to the Monte Carlo market in Burbank where I purchased supplies for the making of two pizzas. I love living in California; however, pizza like I was raised on in suburban Chicago is hard to find.

Enter the Monte Carlo. It's a little Italian market that, prior to a remodel, was like walking into a little deli in the heart of Manhattan or Chicago; even now, with its updated interior, I can't refuse to stop by when I'm anywhere near Burbank. Why is it so incredible? Because they make their own marinara (with or without meat) and sausage, and they have dough and shredded cheese ready and waiting. No sooner do I get the ingredients home, I'm browning the sausage and spreading the dough and then before you know it, I have pizza reminiscent of my suburan Chicago upbrining the likes of Chuck's or John's in Addison or the Pizza Palace in Elmhurst. Can you say comfort food? Mhmm, I knew you could.

Okay, well, I've gotten a bit off track. Anyway, so it's Saturday or Sunday when I catch-wind of the news that Ms. Britney Spears has gone and chopped off all her hair as well as added a tattoo from a tattoo parlor in where? None other than Sherman Oaks. So I says to myself, self, I do believe you parked in front of a tattoo parlor on Ventura Boulevard when you went to Lazar's on Friday; sure enough, it was the very same one. Had I been just a few hours later maybe Britney and I could have got matching tattoos or, at the very least, sat down and had a conversation, over a drink or two, and discussed the pros and cons of wearing under garments, but we definitely would have had plenty to talk about given our now similar hairstyles.

Having now lived in Southern California for over 19 years, I've had my share of chance, celebrity meetings --some good; some bad. What I've come to learn for myself is that worshipping or adoring someone whom you do not know is really kinda weird and not only that, but I think it's a way for us to hide from ourselves to some extent. As a kid, in Illinois, for me at least, part of the"Hollywood" allure was the glamour, but it also contributed to my not necessarily connecting with my own reality and what I now know as giving up my own power to someone else and that's not to say that admiring or looking up to someone else is a negative thing, I just think we have to learn how to look up to ourselves first and then we can truly connect with others in a more genuine, honest and pure way.

Nowadays, celebrities are not all that glamorous to me; I see them as real people with real problems and, in some cases, as we see in the news, can live through very unhappy and difficult times just like us. Will I watch the Academy Awards on Sunday, yeah, probably, but I do so now from a completely different frame of mind in that I don't feel bad about who I am in comparison.

Over time, what I have attempted to do with my life is to truly honor it. And by that, I mean, getting to know msyelf flaws, attributes and all and then on top of that, the bonus feature attached to my, little, life film is that I know the people in my life are truly loved and cared for by me, because I truly love and care for myself and that's not something I could have said in my thirties or prior.

Sometimes, this whole maturity, life is a journey thing, can get a bit, well, irritating. Yes, when one door closes, another opens but this does not necessarily happen simultaneously. Lord knows, there's been times I've had to 'bout jiggled the knob off the door trying to get the damn thing to open; while other times, I've whipped on in and slammed the door behind me so fast I could've hurt myself but that's life and life is filled with choices, and my choices have lead me to where I am today and from this vantage point, I honor and respect them.

Just recently, I came across a quote from Marianne Williamson. Now, I'm not a religious person so I change a few words around for my own benefit, but I connnected with it and just thought I'd pass it along; it goes like this:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

For now, nuf said.

To Jeff

Jeff,
It brings me great joy knowing I have been able to create a bridge between you and your grandmother. She was truly an extraordinary woman and individual and if there is anything more I can do or share that helps you to get to know her better, then by all means, let me know because, together, we have the opportunity to do as she'd hoped and that is to take her love along with us wherever we go. By my having shared what I know about her and what she meant and means to me, I was able to connect with you and now you have the opportunity to share what you know with your siblings, friends, future significant other, etc...; thereby, taking her " love with you forever and by and by people may learn what this kind of love is what life is for".

Knowing what little I know of you based upon your response to me combined with a whole lot I know about your grandma, she would be very proud of you, and the fine, young man you've turned out to be.

Maybe you can answer a question for me. Have you ever had one of your mom's toasted English muffins with mayo, bacon and melted cheese? Yum yum!
Larry

More on Jean

How wonderful to hear from Kathy, Sharon and Stacey Jean's three daughters. Hope I did their mom justice in my small representation of what she meant to me. Over and above what I previously wrote, Jean was quite the independent woman returning to school acquiring her teaching credentials to then become an elementary school teacher. She was a divorced woman living in suburbia long before the likes of Desperate Housewives and as the one and only in the neighborhood, there was plenty of reason for folks to shun her based upon what I know now as their own fears.

Not only was a Jean a single woman raising her daughters on her own; she was also an independent traveler. If I recall correctly, she made at least two and maybe even three trips to Africa long before Oprah and Bono came on the scene. She may have traveled with a tour group but as far as I know, she went alone. She also traveled on a freighter to Norway as well as visited the Easter Islands, and I do believe, I have in my possession a momento from her trip to Istanbul, Turkey and correct me if I'm wrong but when she traveled to Istanbul, it was still a communist country.

Ultimately, she was amazing and taught me a great deal about life and how there were other opportunities and experiences out there waiting for me. I don't remember if it was during a phone call or a visit with her on one of my trips to Illinois or now that I think about it, maybe it was when I was caring for her that she told me she knew I had to leave Illinois believing I never would have survived had I stayed. Along the way, it has been very comforting to me knowing someone understood why I had to move-0n. And what I know today is that we were both very much correct.

Welcome!

Welcome to my blog! What I hope happens here is those whom visit will learn something new about who they are by way of what I have to write and, with luck, will be uplifted, entertained and inspired. It has always been my goal to write a book so methinks the thoughts, notions and stories of my life experiences I share in this blog will lead to that end. From what I can foretell, as in life, some stories will be funny, some stories will be sad and some will be, well, silly but all, I can assure you, will be genuine and from the heart. In the event, time restraints due to other priorities get in the way of my posting a longer piece, I will post a favorite quote or saying that has somehow touched me or captured my attention with belief that it may touch or capture yours as well. So, with that said, let's get started!

I'm guessing you're a bit curious about the handwritten notebook, paper pages to your right. These pages were written over 12 years ago by a dear friend and over and above any other material possession, are what I cherish most in this world; they are, in large part, responsible for the journey I am on today. A journey that started just a few short weeks prior to their having been written so it is, therefore, the most obvious and logical place for me to begin, and I feel very fortunate to have such a place and time in my life I can point to as pivotal and life-changing.


To the best of my transcription, the pages read as follows:

October 22, 94

Dear Larry,
This "last trip" was the finest thing anyone has ever done for me. I know I ramble - have a hard time making sense at all, but I love you so deeply, trust you so much and owe you (????) that; that I can only hope you get the feeling of love through what otherwise must seem nonsense.

My dearest again thank you. You have brought joy total joy to a period which by all accounts should be hell on earth. Not so with you. Take my love with you forever and by and by people may learn what this kind of love is what life is for.
Thank you forever,
Jean

Mrs. Wakeman (Jean) died October 31st, 1994 on my 36th birthday. Unable to remain with her the entire time, I left Illinois returning home to California the week before after having spent three weeks caring for her. It was her eldest daughter, Kathy, who called to give me the news with great apology as to her mother's timing, but I assured her I saw this as a powerful message of connection from her mother that even today, brings tears to my eyes as I sit here at my laptop.

It must have been the third or fourth week of September when Jean called me from her hospital bed in Chicago to let me know she had inoperable, terminal cancer with doctors, to the best of their ability, estimating there were three weeks or so left to her life. At conversation's end, she was upbeat and humorously amazed that I was the first person with whom she shared the news whom did not need to be consoled. I remember her saying something like, shit, Larry, I'm the one who's dying for christ's sake!

To the best of my recollection, within a few days of that phone call, she was back at home under hospice care. Given my propensity for impromptu travel, I secured a low, round-trip airfare to Chicago that weekend intent on seeing her before she died.

Not being the religious sort, she was just a wee bit put-off by the hospice caregivers who, with zealous abandon, were attempting to "save" her prompting her to comment on how she wished I could either stay or come back and take care of her. During my flight home on Sunday evening, I thought about what she said and decided this was something, without question, I needed to do so as soon as I could work it out in my schedule, I returned to Chicago and, as I recall, did so by week's end.

I should probably back-up a bit and tell you I grew up living next door to Mrs. Wakeman (Jean). She and Mr. Wakeman divorced when I was a child. When old enough, I mowed her lawn every Saturday; afterward, the two of us would sit around her kitchen table engaged in great conversation for twice as much time as it took me to mow the lawn. She even once commented to me that the speed with which I mowed her lawn and the price she was paying me to do so made her feel as though she was being raped in her own home!

At the time, I'm sure what drew me to her was the fact that she was so different from my parents even though the three of them were roughly the same age. It was only later on I realized what she really did for me was treat me like an individual with no pre-conceived expectations of who I was supposed to be; not to mention, I liked the fact that she used the "f" word with incredible emphasis, timing and accuracy!

Jeans' dying of cancer and my stepping-in as her caregiver was, obviously, quite the adventure for both of us. She had always said I was someone with whom she could travel, but the opportunity for the two of us to do so had never presented itself until then, at least.

Now that I think about it, I probably arrived back in Chicago on Thursday or Friday and like earlier in the week, she was making use of a hospital bed that had been set up in the expanded family room area off her kitchen.

The next three weeks or so were the most incredible of my life. If someone had told me I would be monitoring someone's morphine intake as well as participating in some very "intimate" personal hygiene caregiving practices, I would have told them they were out of their minds! And if someone had told me I would walk away from this experience feeling enriched, poweruflly alive and overwhelmingly thankful, I would have called them an idiot or, at very best, a pathological liar.

Laugh. What we did was laugh a lot. My upbrining had taught me death was not something to laugh about but, boy, did we break that rule!

Even when there was discussion as to what she should wear to be buried in, I suggested she go with the Lady Godiva look, but she, however, felt her boobs, over the years, had redistributed to a point that she just wouldn't be able to pull that "look" off. I, of course, suggested duct tape as the appropriate fix-all believing it could be circled around under her breasts and then up around her neck and secured behind her head and what with a long blonde wig cascading down her body, no one would be the wiser. In the end, something more sensible won-out, but at least I had given the duct tape idea a shot.

During "quiet times", we had the opportunity to talk deeply about life, but more importantly, about death and, to my surprise, I was able to help her achieve peace as she sat there facing her own. Similar to my thoughts going into this situation with respect to my ability to caregive, if someone had told me I could help someone come to peace with their imminent death and that I would walk away from a dying friend with feelings of joy instead of sadness, again, I would have told them they were absolutely, positively insane! But what I now know; what I have ultimately learned is that death is a part of life and to have the opportunity to be present at or near the end of the life of someone you love, I can only imagine, is just as powerful as being present during the birth of a child.

I am grateful for having traveled this journey with Jean, because it not only planted the seed that lead to my learning how not to fear death it also, simultaneously, taught me how not to fear living, really living, and my own life and whatever it may bring.

When I read the letter she wrote to me the week before she died, I am both humbled and empowered; I think to myself, what else can I do with the life I have been given to touch the lives of others. It appears I have a gift for helping others and if I can help someone during the death process, what can I do to help those who wish to truly live!

It is with this notion, I look forward to writing this blog, creating a career as a life coach as well as create and design t-shirts with uplifting, inspirational as well as some humorous sayings.

Thanks for reading, wish me luck and remember to "Use your mind to follow your heart".