Monday, April 30, 2007
"Monday Morning Pick Me Up April, 30, 2007
"I am what you see I am; not what they say"
Tyler Hilton, singer & songwriter
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
"Larry...he's so nice"
My cousin, Steve, and his wife, Sandy, and their son, Austin, came to visit recently after we re-connected following a death in the family. It was not only a pleasure but also a lot of fun having them here.
At one point, I had a conversation with Sandy who mentioned to me Steve's sister, Beth, had said to her, "Larry, he's so nice". This comment really touched my heart and did so because being nice is something I've spent a lot of time developing. There was a time in my life when I did things for people, because I needed to feel loved and valued and then I moved into the bitter and angry phase for allowing myself to be used and abused by some who took advantage of my "niceness". In either case, I was letting others verify and justify my existence and well-being. I was not in charge. I was, as they say, very co-dependent. And when I talk about co-dependency, I'm referring to the negative aspects of co-dependency. The type of co-dependency that had me blaming others and holding them responsible for a life I was not willing to be in charge of.
Ultimately, though, I learned I am the one in charge, and I am the one who does what he does when he wants to do it...or not. No one else is accountable for how and why I choose to do things and even more than that, no one other than I is responsible for how I choose to respond and interact with others and the world around me or how I choose to feel. No one can make me feel sad or happy or angry. Yes, someone can trigger those feelings in me, but I am the one who generates them.
Does this mean I don't ever get angry and frustrated? No. But what it does mean is that I take the time to look at those instances of when I was angry or frustrated or whatever and examine them to determine what lead me to have those feelings. In other words, why was I coming from a place of fear instead of love.
Having the ability to take a look at whether or not I was coming from a place of love or fear and knowing and believing living a life of love is the type of life I want and can choose to live, is what gives me the ability to be nice. And this ability to come from a place of love, I have come to learn, starts with love for self. Having the ability to love, nurture, respect, care for and have compassion for self, has given me the ability to have it for others. Regardless of who someone is or what they have done, each and every one of us is worthy of love. Each and every one of us has a history; a life filled with experiences that have shaped us and lead us to where to we are; it's having the ability to honor each and every life including our own that gives us the ability to be nice...that gives me the honor of someone saying, "Larry, he's so nice".
At one point, I had a conversation with Sandy who mentioned to me Steve's sister, Beth, had said to her, "Larry, he's so nice". This comment really touched my heart and did so because being nice is something I've spent a lot of time developing. There was a time in my life when I did things for people, because I needed to feel loved and valued and then I moved into the bitter and angry phase for allowing myself to be used and abused by some who took advantage of my "niceness". In either case, I was letting others verify and justify my existence and well-being. I was not in charge. I was, as they say, very co-dependent. And when I talk about co-dependency, I'm referring to the negative aspects of co-dependency. The type of co-dependency that had me blaming others and holding them responsible for a life I was not willing to be in charge of.
Ultimately, though, I learned I am the one in charge, and I am the one who does what he does when he wants to do it...or not. No one else is accountable for how and why I choose to do things and even more than that, no one other than I is responsible for how I choose to respond and interact with others and the world around me or how I choose to feel. No one can make me feel sad or happy or angry. Yes, someone can trigger those feelings in me, but I am the one who generates them.
Does this mean I don't ever get angry and frustrated? No. But what it does mean is that I take the time to look at those instances of when I was angry or frustrated or whatever and examine them to determine what lead me to have those feelings. In other words, why was I coming from a place of fear instead of love.
Having the ability to take a look at whether or not I was coming from a place of love or fear and knowing and believing living a life of love is the type of life I want and can choose to live, is what gives me the ability to be nice. And this ability to come from a place of love, I have come to learn, starts with love for self. Having the ability to love, nurture, respect, care for and have compassion for self, has given me the ability to have it for others. Regardless of who someone is or what they have done, each and every one of us is worthy of love. Each and every one of us has a history; a life filled with experiences that have shaped us and lead us to where to we are; it's having the ability to honor each and every life including our own that gives us the ability to be nice...that gives me the honor of someone saying, "Larry, he's so nice".
Monday, April 16, 2007
"Monday Morning Pick Me Up"
In addition to postings on topics or events that inspire me, some time on or around Monday morning, I'm going to post a "Monday Morning Pick Me Up" and what this is going to be is just a quote of the uplifting and inspirational variety to help get us all going on Monday mornings looking forward to a week full of possibilities and limitless new experiences and gifts.
Friday, April 6, 2007
"Answering Your Own Questions...With Help From a Life Coach"
Whew, it' s been awhile since my last post. Where does the time go? My whole purpose for this blog is to pass along good thoughts, notions and ideas on how to live a more action-oriented, mindful and genuinely, enjoyable, inspired life. With that in mind, I need to be inspired by something enough to comment on it and post it here.
Yesterday, I happened to pick up a copy of the LA Times. After looking, first, for the Target ad and not finding one, I moved to "Parade" magazine and my horoscope. On the same page as the horoscopes, was the "Ask Amy" advice column. The question of the week came from a young woman who said she will be graduating from high school in May; she has been accepted to her "out-of-state school of her dreams" as well as a local university where her boyfriend of three years would be attending. While she believes the relationship with her boyfriend will last, (he helped her as she grieved the loss of her mother a year earlier) if she chooses to go away to school she is "afraid of losing him".
Amy answered the young woman in very much a life coaching way in that she responded with, "You answered your own question in the last line of your letter ("I'm afraid of losing him"). You've already survived a tremendous loss. Now it's time to grab onto your dreams and see where they take you".
Life coaching is all about helping people achieve their goals and dreams; working with them to see they come to fruition. So many times, we get going on something but then it loses steam. Maybe it's because the idea or direction just wasn't a good one for us or maybe we just give up on it because no one else is supporting us in doing so, and it's not because they don't want to; it's because they have their own goals and agenda.
One would hope the young woman in this situation would choose to follow her dream and go away to school and, who knows, maybe her boyfriend would choose to follow her or maybe their relationship would grow and mature with distance and time or maybe it just might end; however, I believe, if we don't follow our dreams, we are doing a great injustice to our spirit and soul.
The "Sound of Music" was on TV numerous times over Easter weekend and while there are a number of memorable songs from this film, one of the major, I guess you'd say, "showstoppers", is "Climb Every Mountain" sung by the Reverend Mother; just before she starts to sing, the Reverend Mother says to Maria, "live the life you were born to live". Here are the lyrics:
"Climb every mountain, search high and low
Follow every by way, every path you know
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream
A dream that will need, all the love you can give
Everyday of your life, for as long as you live
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream"
If you're someone like me who lives a "not all who wander are lost" lifestyle, the words to this song remind you of who you are and what you're attempting to accomplish; they also offer support, hope, encouragement and, not to mention, personal empowerment.
As my life coaching career continues to grow and as I work on my lecture series and book, I think I'm gonna print these lyrics and hang them over my desk for added support and inspiration.
Yesterday, I happened to pick up a copy of the LA Times. After looking, first, for the Target ad and not finding one, I moved to "Parade" magazine and my horoscope. On the same page as the horoscopes, was the "Ask Amy" advice column. The question of the week came from a young woman who said she will be graduating from high school in May; she has been accepted to her "out-of-state school of her dreams" as well as a local university where her boyfriend of three years would be attending. While she believes the relationship with her boyfriend will last, (he helped her as she grieved the loss of her mother a year earlier) if she chooses to go away to school she is "afraid of losing him".
Amy answered the young woman in very much a life coaching way in that she responded with, "You answered your own question in the last line of your letter ("I'm afraid of losing him"). You've already survived a tremendous loss. Now it's time to grab onto your dreams and see where they take you".
Life coaching is all about helping people achieve their goals and dreams; working with them to see they come to fruition. So many times, we get going on something but then it loses steam. Maybe it's because the idea or direction just wasn't a good one for us or maybe we just give up on it because no one else is supporting us in doing so, and it's not because they don't want to; it's because they have their own goals and agenda.
One would hope the young woman in this situation would choose to follow her dream and go away to school and, who knows, maybe her boyfriend would choose to follow her or maybe their relationship would grow and mature with distance and time or maybe it just might end; however, I believe, if we don't follow our dreams, we are doing a great injustice to our spirit and soul.
The "Sound of Music" was on TV numerous times over Easter weekend and while there are a number of memorable songs from this film, one of the major, I guess you'd say, "showstoppers", is "Climb Every Mountain" sung by the Reverend Mother; just before she starts to sing, the Reverend Mother says to Maria, "live the life you were born to live". Here are the lyrics:
"Climb every mountain, search high and low
Follow every by way, every path you know
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream
A dream that will need, all the love you can give
Everyday of your life, for as long as you live
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream"
If you're someone like me who lives a "not all who wander are lost" lifestyle, the words to this song remind you of who you are and what you're attempting to accomplish; they also offer support, hope, encouragement and, not to mention, personal empowerment.
As my life coaching career continues to grow and as I work on my lecture series and book, I think I'm gonna print these lyrics and hang them over my desk for added support and inspiration.
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